domingo, 6 de dezembro de 2009

O caso do bebum perneta

Foi uma luta colocar o passageiro dentro do carro. Quem me ajudou foi o dono do botequim. Aliás, foi ele quem fez sinal para meu táxi. Só depois que parei é que percebi a roubada. O dono do boteco queria, na verdade, se ver livre de seu embriagado cliente.
Para piorar a situação, além de bêbado, o homem não tinha a metade de uma perna. Usava muletas. Como se não bastasse, era o tipo de bebum que não aceita ser ajudado - insiste que está bem: "Não empurra!".
Como o bodegueiro não conseguia "depositar" o bêbado em meu táxi, resolvi ajudar. Mesmo porque as muletas já estavam dentro do carro e eu não tinha mais como fugir do problema. Quando finalmente conseguimos afivelar o cinto no passageiro, ele ameaçou vomitar. Puxa o bêbado pra fora!
A corrida não era longa. Ele queria apenar ir até o boteco mais próximo "tomar um último rabo-de-galo". Quando parei em frente ao outro bar, o dono do estabelecimento, que estava na porta, não deixou descarregar a mala. Disse que já conhecia a figura e não o queria como cliente. Ofendido, meu passageiro o mandou longe.
No próximo bar, por precaução, parei um pouco antes da entrada. Começou então o processo de desova.
O bebum não achava o dinheiro. Enquanto me contava uma história sem pé nem cabeça sobre um certo despachante, ele apalpava os bolsos. Tudo o que encontrou foi uma nota de dois reais. Ele falava, falava, procurava por tudo e voltava a puxar a nota de dois reais. Quando finalmente achou uma nota de dez, eu peguei da mão dele, antes que sumisse. Estamos conversados.
Depois de deixá-lo agarrado a uma árvore, peguei as muletas e terminei de escorá-lo. Ele ficou ali - firme como palanque em banhado - reunindo forças para ir até o bar e tentando não vomitar no pé que lhe restava.

77 comentários:

Dalva M. Ferreira disse...

Essa foi de mestre! Estou até vendo o saci de pileque, segurando a árvore... Boa, Maurão. 1 abraço

Adro disse...

fala Castro meu irmão... era colorado a figura? hahaha
abraços e boa semana...

Anônimo disse...

Pelo menos esse tem desculpa pra encher os bofes.
Quando os vapores chegam ao cérebro cada um mostra quem realmente é, não é verdade?

Então, respondi ao teu comentário lá no bloguinho, mas vou repetir: que coisa, cara! Agora está melhor?
Só pode tomar a dita cuja depois que chegar à terceira idade, homi!
Melhoras rápidas e um grande abraço.

Carmem Tristão disse...

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"Dez real" pagou essa trabalheira toda, Mauro? Bjs

São disse...

Quem não aguenta, não deve tocar em bebida sequer!

Desejo-lhe sinceramente rápidas e boas melhoras acerca de sua saúde.

Boa semana.

Silvia C. disse...

Poético.
Nossa, aqui perto de onde moro a noite é a coisa mais dificil conseguir taxi, os poucos que aparecem muitas vezes estão voltando pra casa e naõ querem passageiro mesmo sem saber pra onde iriam....

Caroll Maturana disse...

Ahaha,me diverti muito com suas historias. Mas eu jamais levaria um bebado se fosse taxistas. Normalmente eles soh param de beber quando nao tem mais dinheiro pra pagar a cachaça!

Caroll Maturana disse...

Ahaha,me diverti muito com suas historias. Mas eu jamais levaria um bebado se fosse taxistas. Normalmente eles soh param de beber quando nao tem mais dinheiro pra pagar a cachaça!

luka disse...

Isso não vale, esse bebum era meu!!!!!!!!

Renata disse...

Parabéns pelo blog! Ótimas histórias!!

Unknown disse...

Aiiii...Cada história é uma viagem que a gente faz.Essa do bebum é ótima.Pegou gripe Mauro?Se cuide....Abraço...

Tiago Medina disse...

Se não tinha o dinheiro completo da corrida, ao menos tinha a história da semana seguinte pra coluna!

abraço

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Que situação!...kkkk

maurotorres65 disse...

Arriégua, macho!!! Que diabos de cachaça esse caboclo tomou? Botaram maconha no birinaite?
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